How-to guides and other

ridiculous

automotive

thoughts

Stories from the garage and the gut.

A personal and often ridiculous lens on my view of the car world. It’s shaped into part memoir, part road trip reflections, part garage-floor confessional.

Opinions & Stories

Featured
Touch Grass
Stories
Touch Grass
Stories

There’s so much good in the world but now so little to none of it is happening on these attention-sucking machines (apps) we’re the product.

Stories
Paddle out. Even if it looks bad.
Opinion, 997
Paddle out. Even if it looks bad.
Opinion, 997

I don't surf, but a friend once told me something about surfing that changed how I think about life. "Paddle out. Even if it looks bad." I'm in my mid-30s now, and I've spent way too many years making excuses not to pursue my passions — especially driving. We're not going to live forever, and if we don't do the things that bring us joy even when the opportunity is right there, we're bound to die even sooner.

Opinion, 997
Little Bastard Helped James Dean Search for Something Real
Stories
Little Bastard Helped James Dean Search for Something Real
Stories

I used to think James Dean was just another Hollywood rebel who got addicted to cars. Then I learned about his relationship with Little Bastard, his Porsche 550 Spyder, and realized he was just trying to feel whole (like most of us).

Stories

E36

Featured
BMW E36 Common Torque Specifications (Maintenance and DIY Jobs)
Maintenance, E36
BMW E36 Common Torque Specifications (Maintenance and DIY Jobs)
Maintenance, E36

Complete BMW E36 torque specifications for all common DIY jobs — engine oil service, spark plugs, cooling system, VANOS, brakes, suspension, drivetrain, and hub nuts. Covers M50, M52, S52, M42, and M44 variants (1992–1999). Free downloadable spreadsheet included.

Maintenance, E36
How to Install an Aftermarket Steering Wheel with No Airbag Lights and a Working Horn in an E36
Maintenance, E36
How to Install an Aftermarket Steering Wheel with No Airbag Lights and a Working Horn in an E36
Maintenance, E36

Who knew getting an aftermarket horn button to work in an E36 would be so challenging? This guide will walk you through the process step-by-step, ensuring you can complete the installation WHILE maintaining the functionality of your horn and avoiding SRS (airbag) system errors.

Maintenance, E36
How to Reset the BMW E36 Oil Service Light with a Paperclip
Maintenance, E36
How to Reset the BMW E36 Oil Service Light with a Paperclip
Maintenance, E36

The BMW E36 is a (shitbox) classic car (sometimes) cherished by enthusiasts worldwide. If you've completed the oil change yourself, you can easily reset the oil service light with a paperclip.

Maintenance, E36

997

Featured
Porsche 997.1 Common Torque Specifications (Maintenance and DIY Jobs)
997
Porsche 997.1 Common Torque Specifications (Maintenance and DIY Jobs)
997

Nothing fancy. We’ve gathered every common 997.1 DIY spec, from wheel bolts to water-pump screws, in both ft-lbs and Nm, each paired with its source link.

997
Paddle out. Even if it looks bad.
Opinion, 997
Paddle out. Even if it looks bad.
Opinion, 997

I don't surf, but a friend once told me something about surfing that changed how I think about life. "Paddle out. Even if it looks bad." I'm in my mid-30s now, and I've spent way too many years making excuses not to pursue my passions — especially driving. We're not going to live forever, and if we don't do the things that bring us joy even when the opportunity is right there, we're bound to die even sooner.

Opinion, 997
How to Set Seat and Mirror Memory in a Porsche 997
997
How to Set Seat and Mirror Memory in a Porsche 997
997

I had a hell of a time finding the simple instructions to do this every time I wanted to make a change. There’s a few threads on Rennlist, but making and bookmarking my own article without the “forum-fluff” was honestly easier.

997
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